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My wife wants to have a threesome with another woman

My Wife Wants To Have A Threesome With Another Woman
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I'm a year-old man and I'm married to a woman, but I have same-sex attractions and have had oral sex with a man before I got together with my wife. Now, I find myself wanting to experience oral sex with a man again. I've shared this with my wife, and following my confession, she shared that she had a secret too: She wants to be sexually intimate with another woman, and then wants me to them for a threesome. I want to make her happy with her request and fulfill her desires, so should just forget about mine for now? It's great that you and your wife are open with each other about your sexualities and interest in exploring new relationship dynamics outside of your monogamous marriage.

Name: Bridie

What is my age: I'm 44 years old
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I can speak: English
What I like to drink: Liqueur
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What is my hobbies: Mountain climbing

But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Nervousness, when doing something new, especially something sexual that can feel so personal, is very common. It is important that you are both on the same about what this is, and why you are doing it.

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You'll get the answer. One, is the ultimate goal here able to be acquired from this arrangement? You need to have an honest conversation with each other about WHY you both want a threesome. And many people who are in polyamorous relationships have written about the work it sometimes takes to make such relationships work. Personally, I find your cravings to be healthy and quite normal. Are you trying to ask him to be more passive participant? Peace - keith.

Sexuality isn't black and white, and that's ok

That empty feeling you're having - listen to it. Some of the suggested resources above can help get those conversations started. I also agree with her encouragement to explore the empty feeling further and see what nuances of other feelings are in there When you can identify and name them, they are easier handled. My husband doesn't trust me. Toggle .

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As someone who specializes in sexuality and polyamory, I can tell you that your experience is incredibly common. Facebook Permalink. Of course, all relationships take work, so polyamorous and other types of relationships are simply not an exception. Another reason this may be upsetting you is because it may feel a little frightening.

The information above is intended as general information If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call or proceed to your local emergency room. Not feeling satisfied with each other?

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Are you having issues? There could be several reasons why you are feeling the way you do. Evaluate the status of your relationship with each other. If you're going to do it again, he needs to know what you're comfortable with and what you want. I can appreciate the complexity of this situation.

If you want to open your marriage, set ground rules first

Hello, and thank you for your question. Tamara Powell Anything But Ordinary! Another reason this may be bothering you is because, on some level, you are aware of the messages society gives us about marriages. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. Perhaps be careful of not drinking too heavily In the whole event, how do you want to feel intimate or connected? If you continue to struggle, I suggest finding a counselor who has experience in sex and sexuality. If you don't like it that he paid more attention to the other girl, he needs to know that, and he needs to respect that.

I'm a man who's attracted to men. my wife is attracted to women, and wants us to try a threesome. what should i do?

Perhaps there are a lot of "What ifs" going on in your mind. As you have courageously explained your soulful dilemma. One thing that I do think is very important is that you communicate these feelings to your husband. Contact [ protected] Seattle, WA. Now, IF you two choose to bring her or someone else into the bedroom again and a similar thing keeps happening, I would definitely push the issue and see what's up from his perspective. Set the limits before you're in the moment, before it's too late to take an action back. This combined with the brain rewarding novelty new lover, new experience with our partner etc.

My wife says i’m not a “real man” because i won’t agree to watch her with another woman.

My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Let me say that again: This is not likely to work out well for you if either of you are insecure, jealous, or looking to have needs met by this other person that you aren't getting from your spouse. These are questions that arise; maybe not solutions. They are supposed to be monogamous, heterosexual, etc. You have identified some key factors that may be contributing to your sense of feeling "empty".

When you get the "empty" feeling, it may be helpful to try to really nail down the emotions that are attached to that feeling. Hello there. One reason could be that you are simply not as comfortable with the idea as you think you are. Robin's also right about communication being key.

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It can be helpful to keep in mind that alcohol lowers our inhibitions, and for first time threesomes or any new sexual behavior really, we humans tend to enjoy a little extra oomph to our courage levels. What thoughts are going through your head when you feel that way? If there are any problems, insecurities, issues, introducing something like this may only make your relationship worse. How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex? Turn it around and ask him what he would be comfortable with if it were a man instead of a woman.

I wish you well.

It started one night at the strip club …

Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. It may even be a good idea to talk about expectations or "ground rules", if you will. My encouragement to you is to try not to overthink it at this stage. We all have.

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Open relationships and threesomes rarely work out well. How has your sex life been with each other? Why am I feeling this way? And if you need further assistance, absolutely I would find a sex-positive, poly-positive counselor to chat with. Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship. Some time and good communication with your husband may help you with this.

Are you trying to have your fulfillment with another woman while in the presence of your husband but not with him 'on her' as much or at all? Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband.

Why you should care

Its always good to be very clear with oneself of what is the ultimate target here And always measure the potential danger. A lot of people get that out of the way before settling down in a monogamous relationship. Dig deep to find out where it is coming from. This doesn't prove that there is something wrong with the relationship, it just shows that you retain normal human emotions while in one.

The other thing that helps make something like this work is for both of you to listen and respect each other. The empty feeling could be any of things including: Fear that "you're not enough for him" Fear that "she's better than you" in some way Fear that "if we keep doing this thing, he will need it and what happens if I no longer want it? Sure, there are some who successfully live this lifestyle, but it only works when both people are completely secure in their relationship with each other, harbor no jealousies or insecurities, and aren't looking to someone else to satisfy needs that aren't getting met by their spouse.

Indeed, despite the fact that nervousness can be uncomfortable, it is also part of the excitement of trying something new. Were you craving all along, him to really be all over you along with her? Just because you may not agree with these beliefs doesn't mean that you haven't been influenced by them. It is perfectly natural to be curious and want to experiment. I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl, but I feel really nervous.

If there are problems in your relationship, this is likely to only make things worse. My husband wants a divorce after I was diagnosed with severe depression. Robin J. Submit your own question Ask. Why am I so nervous talking to people?

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That being said, it also lowers our ability to make well thought-out decisions. The key is to make them work well for you and your partner s.

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